Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother by Amy Chua
An
awe-inspiring, often hilarious, and unerringly honest story of one
mother's exercise in extreme parenting, revealing the rewards-and the
costs-of raising her children the Chinese way. All decent parents want
to do what's best for their children.
What
Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother reveals is that the Chinese just have a
totally different idea of how to do that. Western parents try to
respect their children's individuality, encouraging them to pursue their
true passions and providing a nurturing environment. The Chinese
believe that the best way to protect your children is by preparing them
for the future and arming them with skills, strong work habits, and
inner confidence.
Battle
Hymn of the Tiger Mother chronicles Chua's iron-willed decision to raise
her daughters, Sophia and Lulu, her way-the Chinese way-and the
remarkable results her choice inspires. Here are some things Amy Chua
would never allow her daughters to do:
- have a playdate
- be in a school play
- complain about not being in a school play
- not be the #1 student in every subject except gym and drama
- play any instrument other than the piano or violin
- not play the piano or violin
The
truth is Lulu and Sophia would never have had time for a playdate. They
were too busy practicing their instruments (two to three hours a day
and double sessions on the weekend) and perfecting their Mandarin. Of
course no one is perfect, including Chua herself. Witness this scene:
"According to Sophia, here are three things I actually said to her at
the piano as I supervised her practicing:
1. Oh my God, you're just getting worse and worse.
2. I'm going to count to three, then I want musicality.
3. If the next time's not PERFECT, I'm going to take all your stuffed animals and burn them!"
But
Chua demands as much of herself as she does of her daughters. And in
her sacrifices-the exacting attention spent studying her daughters'
performances, the office hours lost shuttling the girls to lessons-the
depth of her love for her children becomes clear. Battle Hymn of the
Tiger Mother is an eye-opening exploration of the differences in Eastern
and Western parenting- and the lessons parents and children everywhere
teach one another.
People
who are taking this book the wrong way (particularly those who read the
excerpt in the newspapers and not the book itself) are missing the big
picture. The book is a memoir, and Chua tells her story no-holds-barred.
Her mother is a central figure and her discipline (right or wrong) has
shaped who Chua has become. Like all of us, Chua has had to find the
good in her parents, particularly the good in their intentions (even
when they aren't easy to find). Those who are treating this as a
parenting manual advocating parents raise their children the way Chua
was raised either haven't read the book or have completely missed the
point.
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